Friday, March 27, 2009

my dental men are gentlemen.

surgery recap.

scene: sitting in a peach colored room listening to soft rock. there is only one window with a view of bare trees and wet dirt. there is also a painting done in 1978 of an ocean shore at sunset. the colors in the painting match the walls.

dr. van dorn came in and before he asked how i was-- he asked about my shoes. they were just my silver slip on vans, which he later called "movie star shoes". i've never actually seen an actor/actress wear this particular pair, but i was talking to a professional periodontist here. was i really going to doubt him? he tried to ask me a lot of questions and make jokes to calm my nerves about the shots. i began lying about my school life, and somehow gave him the impression i wanted to be a newscaster. he then started asking me about boys and telling me stories about his marriage. giving me marital advice. vanessa williams song playing i was starting to believe he had a part time therapist job like lucy's psychiatric booth. before he gave me my numbing shots, he asked me my favorite vacation destination and to think about it. first shot: not bad at all. i'm tough. i was raised on the dairy, bitch. i never feel pain. second shot: pussed out and jerked, so he had to stick me twice. cried a little. after this, i was left with his assistant who kept talking to me about her trees and plants. cher's "if i could turn back time" when he returned, i didn't feel numb enough...third shot: was pretty numb, until he hit one spot that made a hissing sound come out of me. although i was curious to what tools were going to be used inside of my mouth, i closed my eyes in fear of panic natalie imbruglia's "torn" i only felt tugs on my brackets. everything else was just fine. there was a time we had to wait on something and we talked about disney world (my destination of choice). i was also asked what i would do if i one ten million dollars. then, i was advised on how to save it. an hour or so later, my gum was sewn up. whitney houston's "greatest love of all"

the rest of my day is being spent like so:
10:00- ice pack on.
10:05- ice pack off.
10:10- ice pack on.
10:15- ice pack off.
this has to continue until i GO TO BED.

1 comment:

Caitlin said...

The soundtrack to gum surgery is so perfect. It has its ups and downs in love. And I'm glad you finally realized your dreams of being a newscaster.