Friday, December 26, 2008

vin diesel in XXXmas.

come over and play wii.

Monday, December 22, 2008

law & order: CUP

dad is sitting two feet away from me, listening to jazz with his headphones.
i am at the computer listening to the runaways, thinking of how i should practice my guitar(s) and wear more spandex/leather.

he's always being more hip than me...than i...than me.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Thursday, December 18, 2008

what's her twat?

the update:
babysat cousins on monday. i love how "toot" can be the funniest word when you're around little boys. i don't appreciate them always pulling their pants down/taking their clothes off/never going to sleep. however, they make up for it when they tell bedtime stories about someone eating poop off of someone's butt--or bottom.

the lion king musical was uhh-mazing. so many puppets and leotards. if i can't dedicate my life to african singing and costumes, i will happily step down for puppetry in a leotard. the woman who sang the "NAAAAHH.." etc in "the circle of life" (if you don't know what i'm talking about you should probably get the hell away from me) was perfect. it seriously blew my mind; everything looked so great... except "i just can't wait to be king". it looked like a bad dream and had really bright colors compared to the rest of the show. and for the record: i did not cry when mufasa died. i only teared up thinking about the same scene in the animated version. (and yes, caitlin, i did say adult cartoon simba was a hot lion. i stick by that.) 

on second thought, i also would like to be a giraffe. animals come down the isles during the opening. YOUTUBE THIS SHIT.

got my herr did.

mom likes to depress me every time we talk about christmas. it's not going to be like all the other years of me being a spoiled baby. well, it probably will be... just not as crazy. dad and i finally put the tree up today while listening to james brown. he had horrible subway farts. i think that sums it up.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

(in navy)

= a perfect wednesday morning?

Thursday, December 4, 2008

lady cab driver.

i was involved in my first "accident" today.
a woman's mini van hit my car. 100% her fault.
i'm so glad she knew it was all on her because i would have doubted myself.
here's how it went down:

"YESSS!" i yelled as i turn up demi lovato (or duey limbato) and started singing. the radio reception was going in and out, but i knew all the words so it's wasn't a problem. a few seconds later, still singing and having a good time. (for some reason i may have thought about a car hitting me a few minutes before this happened. so raven.) SOME LADY DECIDES TO SWITCH LANES TO TURN AND HITS ME. hopefully i was singing the "get back" part of the song as in "get the hell back from my car". i was in a panic because it was happening rather slowly and i can NEVER find my horn when i'm worried. the makers of my '89 honda civic thought two little horn buttons would be better than just having one in the middle. anyways, she hits the left front of my car. we pulled into the parking lot, called police, etc. she offered me a seat in her van until the cops came to be warm and exchange insurance. i accepted. i sat down, and a voice startled me, "mumblemumlesit's cold outmumble". (the mumbles are because i didn't really catch it.) i turned around it was a girl with down syndrome. i'm only saying she had down syndrome so you get the whole story. cop came. waited in my car. some old lady sitting in a hoveround wearing a veteran's cap with earmuffs was wheeling through our cars. she may have thought it was a parade.

oh, and did i mention i was crying off and on throughout this experience? i was.
i feared a money problem involving less christmas or no disney world for some reason.
...i'm an only child.

I'm also thinking about capitalizing my letters. Maybe.

Sunday, November 30, 2008


"it's not about a salary, it's all about reality."
caitlin visited for her thanksgiving break. after all the lying around and costume changes, it felt like weeks. we were finally able to put together a video i had wanted to do for quite some time now. turned out pretty well. i couldn't get myself to remove my addidas pull-over and chelsea's kicks. this led me to become an entirely different person while i was doing karaoke at marianne's. breakin',bustin', groovin', movin', jumpin, (and any other dance ending with an in' ) with one big french braid for over two hours. yes, i AM sore today. my parents just watched wall-e, and we had more thanksgiving food. both of my parents were releasing crazy farts. dad's sounded like a guitar solo. ahh, family. 

Friday, November 21, 2008

hi, my name is receding gums murphy.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

action & rock harmonica.

the more i watch 30 rock, the more i realize i am liz lemon... at least 75% of the time. all the excitement i had for steve martin guest starring made my mind burst into flames, which may have caused another california fire. (my vajay might have contributed as well.) family guy is on... only to remind me that i watch the simpsons/family guy almost six out of the seven day week. it's not my fault they're on when i come home.

i need to find another job. shredding paper for five-six hours a day is horrible on my hands. i have to lotion up several times during my day, AND i think about the same things in one giant loop. i would talk to myself, but i fear someone will creep down the steps to the cold basement and hear me. tell me subjects to think about.

oh, i have question for everyone....

whazzup with you?
"no, let's play this game. the first person to toot has to lick our feet."

Friday, November 14, 2008

disovery: singing "we are family" alone is not enjoyable. most likely due to the fact i had no sistas with me.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Saturday, November 8, 2008

handicopped. yes, copped.

went to a christmas expo with mom, pat, and kay. it was basically an obese, cute baby, middle-aged lesbian couples party. the party favors were pets from the humane society. i almost teared up leaving all those animals. pat wanted to purchase a nine dollar carmel apple, but since my mother was in control of her wheelchair--it didn't work out. 
lost my job. damn you live nation with your cuts. i've already contacted some "wiccan teens" to help me with curses and spells. (not teen witches though. they only want to be the most popular girls.) if apologizing for saying i hate the house of blues would give me the job back, i wouldn't do it. too difficult. anyways, it's probably for the best since i get paid more shredding paper at the bank.


went up to chicago to see everybody else open for hanson. the line was full of crazy hanson fans, so i missed the beginning of their set. (jacque and i cut people the second night to make sure it didn't happen again.) twas fun except i absolutely hate the house of blues. i got to see brigitte whom i haven't seen in two years or so. she's a sweetie. on tuesday night, we left the show early for the obama rally. yes, i was a part of history. i spent days wondering through seas of people to find caitlin and the two magical princes. as the electoral votes came in, caitlin and i were constantly breaking out into song (mostly destiny's child), and speaking in nell's language of choice, "nellish". the loudest we yelled was for michelle and oprah. after OBAMA WON, a homeless man sat near me and began drawing. he asked my name, and walked away. i'm still upset he didn't even offer to sell his artwork to me...since it was a picture of me. i miss boys in their underwear. 

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

currently reading:

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

i'm wearing my princess diana shirt topped with a jacket featuring a unicorn--both such mystical creatures.

staring at excel sheets is killing my eyes. i used to want glasses, but the thought of possibly REALLY needing them sickens me.

Monday, October 27, 2008

i watched fifteen minutes of nightmare on elm street. 
-never falling asleep while taking a bubble bath.
-johnny. depp.

also, freddy kills people while their sleeping.
he could just rape them if he felt like it. 
it would suck to be pregnant with that baby. 
i think i just gave a great example in which abortion is necessary.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

winnie pooper.

i haven't done anything really productive at work today.

... unless tearing up at every episode of the wonder years i've watched and crushing on little kevin arnold is considered "productive". i'm going to go ahead and say it's one of the cutest shows ever made. fyi, this is the second blog in less than a year where mr. arnold/fred savage has been mentioned.

Monday, October 13, 2008


left work at two. my dad picked me up. we arrived at the bus right on time. got off the bus in chicago at 5:18, got my bag, ran into union station, and barely made it on the train with caitlin. got off train to meet jacque. rode with her to madison, wisconsin. missed the first couple hymns songs. [enter fun times here] drove. stopped for mcdonalds. drove. giggled. slept for four hours. drove to train. took train back into the city. showered/dressed. took red line, followed by the bus to the beat kitchen [enter fun times here] walked to a mcdonalds. took train to caitlin's. slept. got dressed. train. [more fun times] train. cab. waited for my megabus, which was two hours late. slept for five hours. up. work. too much public transportation.

i could have written something witty or hilarious, but i'm tired. AND it's my blog. i do what i want.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Monday, October 6, 2008

david hyde pierce seals deals for me. 

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

i hate when people say "the craft".
and no, i'm not talking about that witch movie i've never seen with the four cool 90's girls on the cover...

Sunday, September 28, 2008

i should:
  a) stop wearing the same hat.
b) buy a variey of hats.
c) wash hair.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

i miss the tape player in my car. it's really hard for me to listen to the radio when the reception is constantly going in and out on all the good stations. a new discovery i have made about myself: i only enjoy horrible music that i know the words to while driving. i have to sing in the car. (example: i screamed of excitement when montell jordan was playing.) so, if you see a girl blasting fuzzy radio disney, it's just me...being miley...another discovery: m.i.a. "paper planes", is played every hour on radio now 100.9. it almost makes me sick. that song came out LAST YEAR, and it's just now getting played. indiana, you're so behind.

-when i have nothing to do at work, i google what i can do in the future. it's pretty exciting. lotsa options.
-i thought i looked gross today, but some girl i work with told me i should be in the fashion industry because it "comes natually" to me. holla?
-i love kathie lee & hoda.
-four kittens have been hanging around my house. when i creep up to them they (including the mother) hiss at me.

Friday, September 19, 2008

currently reading:

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

i feel like all i do is pee at work. i'm constantly drinking water, and i drink even more when i have nothing to do. (i'm sure my kidneys appreciate this.) it's even worse today because i'm wearing heels. i feel like everyone is thinking "oh, it's that girl again...walking to the bathroom."

hopefully they don't think i have diarrhea.
"oh, it's that diarrhea girl again...walking to the bathroom."

Sunday, September 14, 2008

i blog here too:

Thursday, September 11, 2008

marianne told me that my outfit reminded her of diane keaton.
wonderful compliment.

the albert hammond, jr album i won arrived at my door.

two records. signed.
red vinyl.
AND the cd. AND a poster.

Saturday, September 6, 2008

(google images)

a year ago, i got three old photobooth pictures from an antique store. today, i picked up about nine more from the same place. if i decide to collect something, i'm pretty sure these are what i would like to collect. i like to make up their back stories. i have one that could either be brothers or secret lovers--possibly both. anyways, when i purchased the photos this lady was telling me about a girl who buys them and makes greeting cards. now i have competition to buy them. greeting cards?? C'MON. 

i had a lemon shake up, mozzarella sticks, and half an elephant year this afternoon. followed by shopping with some family. my aunt kay supposedly has a huge uterus, and we (both of them, my mother, and i) laughed about poop all the way home from golden house.

Friday, September 5, 2008

the idea of another ghostbusters movie, AND the fact it will be written by producers of the office gives me the biggest erection a girl can get. if i was asked to be in the movie, i would like to play annie potts's role. you know, because i love designing women...

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

this is what happens when you run for boys.
i almost sprained my ankle.
not going to lie, those brothers were just as much fun the second time.
however, it did remind me that i hate most females.

i failed to mention our cab driver was insane and told us to hide in the back of the vehicle, and he would sneak us to the unopened area. we were idiots and hid. he could have taken us anywhere....we got away with it too. we saw the buses, and nobody was around. then, we were dropped off by a field. when we approached the amphitheatre, we were asked to go get in line. 

Saturday, August 23, 2008

"gotta love a girl who eats it."

saw joanna newsom last night. so good. but i was a TOTAL ASSHOLE and cried (trying to hold in laughter) as soon as it started... my mom was doing her joanna impression earlier that day, and of course the song she had been singing was the first one performed. i couldn't look at caitlin the rest of the show.

today is my parents' 20th anniversary! 
mom won't stop watching cooking shows.
if you want to upset me, just watch cooking shows on pbs for hours.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

save me dr. john stamos

last night i got this pain in the right side of my back. it was very instant, and it would not stop. i threw up three times within the hour. the pain continued, so caitlin and i went to the emercency room. (of course, by the time i actually got into my room it didn't hurt as bad.) FIRST. the most decent looking guy in the hospital came in. he had to touch my hairy legs, and saw my underwear. i later named him jewseph goldblum. SECOND. the older guy came in to take some blood. he was leaving soon, and obviously looking forward to it. he got my blood on my arm, my blanket, and the floor. (when i returned from a bathroom trip, i realized the dried blood and wrinkled sheet resembled a vagina.) THIRD. a lady came in for hook me up to an IV, but realized the needle the man left in my arm was not in a vein. she had to hook it up to my right arm. i'm still upset about it. FOURTH. a doctor came in, told me i had a urinary tract infection that has spread to my kidney??? it doesn't burn when i pee! i haven't been peeing a least, i don't think so. caitlin and i didn't leave the hospital until six this morning. now, i'm feeling better and taking some medicine. 

always keepin' it real.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

good afternoon

Sunday, August 17, 2008

my mar-mar got married.

i am so sore from dancing.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

saturday morning: 
my dad had breakfast made for me and we watched looney tunes. i wuv him.
saturday night:
bachelorette party. everything penis.
freaks & geeks. packed megabus.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

this post is dedicated to matt dillon (circa 1980) with nunchucks:

Monday, July 28, 2008

this time last year, i never thought:

  • i would dropout of college--even though i never pictured me enjoying it.
  • i would move to L.A. for a month and take an acting class.
  • i might have to move back home.
  • i would become obsessed with a band that's frequently on the disney channel.
  • i would enjoy working out daily.
  • nobody would hire me.
oh, life. you and your surprises.

i tried to make some bruschetta and cheese stuffed chicken. it didn't look too nice, but it was good enough to eat. i had nilla wafers with cool whip (lite?) and strawberries:

 now i'm sleepy.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

things i like today:

i (kind of) stopped craving a big gulp after seeing this.

Monday, July 21, 2008

batman said "sweat pants" in his batman voice.

i saw the dark knight.
i suppose i'll hop on the bandwagon and say it was good. since i did not have a cute (preferably french) boy to hold on to, i had a sweater wrapped around me up to my chin throughout the entire thing. suspense and i do not mix well... i may have cried a little. most of the movie was filmed in the loop, and my building is featured. caitlin and i got really excited when (a blurred) americana submarine was in the background of a driving scene. we always want to go there when we travel to target/the library. we really don't understand how we missed all these scenes being shot. although, we did see the fake batman hanging scene when we were walking home from the grocery.

i also freaked out about anthony michael hall.... totally necessary. i miss the cute anthony michael hall.

watching the movie made me remember the cartoon, which i had forgotten everything about.
well, i'm going to go to sleep with lights on.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

everybody loves raymond.

i like wigs.
i like photoshoots.
i like friends.
we sat around looking at our "dimly lit" wall.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

NOT doing the good.

so, i was casually youtubin' family matters...which led to a "stephanie tanner tribute" video....which led to a "dj and steve" video....which led me to a great discovery. i had no idea fred savage and the girl who played dj tanner starred in a movie for lifetime together. i started watching it, no big deal. i keep telling caitlin that i kind of have a crush on mr. savage (one of my favorite people, john zido, called him a "handsome goblin".) THEN FRED SAVAGE STARTS BEATING DJ TANNER. even though their relationship was rocky, i was still crushing and still believed it would all work out. WRONG. HE KILLED HER?! FRED SAVAGE IS NOT A KILLER, HE'S A LOVER. HAVE YOU NOT WATCHED OSWALD ON NICK, JR? OR  SEEN AN EPISODE OF THE WONDER YEARS? i know kevin arnold is a character, but i'm sure he is just like fred savage. no, actually i KNOW he is. (don't ruin my dreams.) anyways, this movie has destroyed my evening. oh, and ms. sally jessy raphael makes an appearance. buy me the seven dollar dvd, so i can get upset again.

i went with caitlin to look at an apartment today. we didn't actually make it to the building. 
...let's just say i got called "whitey" and everyone kept asking what we were doing there.

i'm so tired of filling out applications and answering survey questions.

jb. one week.

Monday, July 14, 2008

balloons & cigarettes

i forgot how adorable elizabethtown is.
actually, i forgot about orlando.
online after midnight.
most likely googlin' boys and clothes i can't afford.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

wall-e... cutest movie ever.
the wackness... why can't we all live in 1994 again?
lauren came over:
my girl... makes me cry EVERY time. poor thomas j.
now & then... one of my favorites.
followed by boredom:

i went to bed around 2...then i couldn't sleep. all of a sudden, SOMEONE farted (since i don't have full walls i could hear it). i didn't know if what i heard was real, but before i could really decide, SOMEONE laughed. followed by me laughing, which led to fifteen minutes of laughter.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

it's 7:14, and i am awake. my dream was like no country for old men. actually... not at all. that thing javier used was a beeper-sized device, and some guy was using it on a school bus. it bothered me enough to wake me up. as i was trying to think of happy thoughts, (like naming my future french bulldog) worst case scenarios kept popping in my head. finally, i stood up and went to the bathroom. i think this all happened because i really had to pee.

now, i'm still paranoid. i want to go back to sleep.

i also kind of feel like throwing up.

Friday, July 4, 2008

oh cindy burris...

"i love to whip my own cream."

Sunday, June 29, 2008

redwalls 6/28/08:

caitlin and i love the jews.
and the redwalls were lovely.

tgif and old country buffet.

so, PRIDE PARADES = BEST PARADES. it was a blast. unlike a st. patrick's day parade full of drunks. (even though there were plently of drunks at this parade... they were just more enjoyable to be around.) i don't think i have ever seen so many fit guys in underwear before. i'm not complaining. i danced a lot, and lauren may not have her voice tomorrow.